The Moment of Choice: Six Inner Questions That Change How You Lead
- Anjali Leon
- Jul 29
- 3 min read
Updated: Jul 30
Self-awareness is the first step to empowerment.
There’s a quiet, fleeting moment—barely noticeable—between when someone brings you a problem and how you choose to respond.
In that moment, you have a choice: To jump in and solve it.
Or to pause—and create space for someone else to step into their potential.
That one choice, repeated over time, shapes whether your team becomes dependent… or empowered.
The Hidden Cost of Always Helping
In Part 1, I explored how well-meaning leaders can unintentionally foster learned helplessness—a psychological state where capable people stop trying because they believe their effort won’t matter.
It looks like this:
Problems escalate without ownership
1:1s turn into venting sessions
People wait to be told what to do
You feel like the only one thinking ahead
The dynamic didn’t start with your team.
It started with you.
But it can shift.
And that shift starts on the inside.
Collaborative Leadership Starts with Self-Leadership
We often talk about empowering others. But how often do we examine our own default responses?
True leadership transformation begins by interrupting old patterns—especially the heroic reflex to fix.
That’s why collaborative leaders don’t just ask better questions of others. They ask better questions of themselves.
Because before we change what we do, we must bring awareness to how we are.
These six inner questions help you shift from autopilot to intentional action. Each one is grounded in the Collaborative Leadership Navigator and reflects the inner capabilities that grow collective success.
🧠 Six Inner Questions That Change How You Lead
A reflective pathway through the 6 C’s—Composure, Clarity, Curiosity, Connectedness, Collaboration, and Commitment—each aligned with a core leadership shift.
🧘♀️ Composure
Inner Question: What discomfort am I avoiding by jumping in?
Is it the discomfort of seeing someone struggle? Letting go of control? Feeling unnecessary?
🔁 The Shift: From Quick Reactions → to Wise Responses
This pause cultivates emotional agility. It allows you to lead from presence rather than pressure—transforming urgency into space.
🦅 Clarity
Inner Question: What role is truly mine to play here?
Is this something only I can handle—or a growth opportunity for someone else?
🔁 The Shift: From Local Focus → to Wide-Angled Perspective
This lens invites discernment. You consider the stakes, the system, and what will serve best—not just what will solve fastest.
🔍 Curiosity
Inner Question: What’s really going on here—for them, and for me?
Am I responding to their needs—or my own impulse to feel helpful, competent, or in control?
🔁 The Shift: From Certainty → to Adaptive Curiosity
This inquiry fuels deeper awareness. It slows down assumptions and opens up possibility for both you and the other person.
🌐 Connectedness
Inner Question: Whose growth could I support by not stepping in?
What’s the opportunity here—for learning, ownership, or stretch?
🔁 The Shift: From Independence → to Interdependence
This is about honoring others’ capacity. It reframes leadership from “carrying” others to cultivating their contributions.
🤝 Collaboration
Inner Question: Am I building shared ownership—or reinforcing quiet dependence?
If I solve this, am I growing the team—or disempowering them?
🔁 The Shift: From Solo Heroics → to Creative Synergy
This invites co-creation. It’s not about stepping back, but stepping in differently—asking, not answering.
✅ Commitment
Inner Question: What support could I offer without taking responsibility away?
Can I ask a catalytic question? Remove a blocker? Offer a nudge?
🔁 The Shift: From Being Involved → to Being Invested
This centers on shared accountability. It invites follow-through without over-functioning.
Between Stimulus and Response, There Is a Space…
"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."—Viktor Frankl
That space is your power as a collaborative leader.
Each time you pause—each time you choose inquiry over intervention—you reclaim that space.
You begin leading from your human edge: aware, intentional, and growth-oriented.
🪞 Practice This
The next time someone brings you a problem, try this:
Pause.
Ask yourself: “What’s the most empowering role I can play right now?”
Then choose your next move—with intention.
💬 Want more?
🔁 Missed Part 1?
A practical guide for shifting your team dynamic from dependency to distributed leadership.
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